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unhappy2009 Asks...
Hey i live near camberley, i'm suffering from depression i have sucidal thoughts and tendincies i also have really bad dreams about commiting sucide and voices telling me to take pills i use to self harm but stopped and instead of self harming i overodse on tablelts , my parens do know about this also i am seeing a mental health proffesinoal which has dignosed for me for depression but they are not letting me take anti -depresents because the hospital i go to they say i'm to young and there is side affetcs which they dont want me to have so i have congitive behavioral therpay (CBT) .
School has been helping me some of the teachers there like my head year , assistand head year , assistant pricipal , child protection officer , school nurses have gave me support such as a reduced time table and time out card to get out of my lessons if i can not cope with it but there is a problem because i had a school meeting before i broke up with my mum and the people helping me what i menched above ,but the school has turned around and told me that they cant cope with me and i'm not safe to be at school because of overdosing and walking around during lessons on my own trying to find some one to go to because how i'm feeling im not even aloud to go to the toilet on my own because how i feel so every time i come out of a lesson loads of teachers get emailed . when i was in year 10 i missed alot of school then i went back to school and i was always out of lessons because i could not cope i was always found in the loo by my head year trying to take tablets but she took them of me then contacted camhs and teachers in the school to say what i had done . but the reason i'm worried about going back to school is because the school are saying 1. they cant cope with me , 2. they havent got the support staff , 3. im a danger to my self because of tablets , 4. they want let me see any one during lesson time because i missed out on lot of education in year 10 but then they say to me i can go to the medical centre but its stupid because they dont understand whats realli going on i always use to talk to my head year and the child protction officer . I dont no what to do because if i feel like i'm going to take a overdose i use to tell my head year so they could help me and try and stop me from doing it but if there not allowing me out of lessons what am i suppose to do if i have thoughts about taking pills because there has been loads of time its got to much and iv walked out of lessons then slt has been called becuase i have walked out . I'm really scard because if this happens during lesson time i dont have any one to tell also i have explained this to camhs and my mental health phycolgstic and he said that he couldnt do any thing about what the school is doing because they have there own polices etc so when i cant go into a lesson and i tell them i cant do it they say that i'm been defiant then they excluded me on every time i cant do some thing my parents have been down to the school about this and complained because it isnt my fault but they say that i'm been defiant and making loads of rubbish up saying they cant cope etc and me and my parents are stuck on what to do because camhs cant do any thing and we dont no where to turn to for help about this my school does not have any treament programs i can go on to help me with this and all they keep on saying to me is we are stuck on what to do with you and we just cant cope with you .
Do you know any one we could contact about this or talk to ?
Please if you have any advice at all i would really really appreachaite it .
Thank you
xx
What we suggest...
Hi unhappy 2009
Thanks for writing to us; we are sorry to hear that you are feeling very down and finding life so difficult. Depression can affect different people in different ways and it can result in a wide variety of symptoms, both psychological and physical.
Depression is a medical term and that one word covers a whole range of psychological distress. It can vary from the mildest form of depression that can cause lowered mood - something that does not stop you leading a normal life but makes everything harder to do and seem less worthwhile - to depression at its most severe that can seriously affect your life.
So, of course, following on from this, there is a wide range of treatment available. Treatment will vary according to individual needs and may often be related to the origins or causes of the depression. You do not tell us what has triggered your depression. We understand that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a treatment that helps you to recognise problems and overcome emotional difficulties.
It sounds as though the school has been very supportive up to now and has been prepared to help you with things such as a time-out card and reduced timetable. However, we suppose that it is understandable that the school is concerned for your safety if you are allowed to be around the building on your own and are concerned that you are missing out on parts of your education.
As you are fifteen, you will probably be approaching the year when you will be taking your GCSE's. We are sure the school will want you to do your best and are worried that you will not have covered the relevant curriculum. Exams can also be a stressful time and if you, yourself, are feeling, shall we say, left behind, then this can only increase the pressures on you.
We think that it should be possible to work towards a solution by looking at other possible alternative arrangements. Do you have a keyworker/care coordinator who acts as your main care organiser and advocate? If you do have a keyworker then this is the person who you and your parent(s) should be able to talk to about what is happening. Maybe you have already done this as she/he is the person who:
# Organises an agreed plan for your care
# Supervises the agreed care plan and ensures that all agencies are contributing appropriately
# Organises and sets up regular, inter agency reviews, and ensures that all agencies eg school staff are invited to participate
# Organises a review or intervention if things backslide or if circumstances greatly change
# Acts as a link between you and your parents and other organisations who are concerned with your welfare
# Is the person who finds it easy to talk with you and pass on any concerns to the appropriate people.
We are wondering if there is someone in place like this for you as you only seem to mention that there were school members of staff at the meeting held at school. Sometimes there are meetings of the 'team around the child' - is that an expression you have heard? We think that a meeting like this should be of all the people involved with you and this should be the place where you are involved in making plans that will work for you.
You have the right to and must receive suitable full-time education until the last Friday in June of the school year when you become 16, usually in year 11. We do not know your date of birth but we are presuming that this means for you that you will have another year at least in school.
We are thinking that it may be possible for you to have some one to one support whilst you are in school if this would be appropriate for your situation or another alternative arrangement that was agreed by everyone concerned.
If you do not have a keyworker, you and your parents could contact your local authority or maybe CAHMS could help here. From your location information that you have given us it would seem that the local education authority to contact is Surrey County Council. They have an Inclusion Service that aims to work with other organisations such as social care, health and schools to support vulnerable children and young people and maximise their access to educational opportunities.
You could get in touch with the appropriate department, probably Education Welfare by ringing Surrey County Council Contact Centre Tel: 0300 200 1006 (charged at local rate) or by emailing contact.centre@surrey.gov.uk
Also Surrey County Council has a very informative website which contains a section called 'Responding to Parents' Concerns' at
<http://www.surreycc.gov.uk/sccwebsite/sccwspages.nsf/LookupWebPagesByTITLE_RTF/Responding+to+parents'+concerns?opendocument>
This section gives information about other steps your parent(s) can take to discuss their concerns about your education.
We also think it might be a good idea for you to contact The National Youth Advocacy Service on 0800 61 61 01 as this organisation works with young people to help them have their voice heard. We are sure you would find them helpful. You could show them your email to us and our reply so that they get plenty of information about your situation easily as you wrote such a good account of how you feel.
Also worthwhile would be contacting the Advisory Centre for Education, this is a national charity that provides advice and information to parents and carers on a wide range of school based issues including exclusion, admissions, special education needs, bullying and attendance. The general advice line is on 0808 800 5793, the exclusion advice line is 0808 800 0327 and the 24 hour exclusion information line is 020 7704 9822.
If you or your parent(s) feel that you would need any help or support with any of this you could contact Mind - the leading Mental Health Charity by telephone on 0845 766 0163 or by checking out their website @
http://www.mind.org.uk/
There is also Young Minds @
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/
that aims to improve the emotional well being and mental health of children and young people and empowering their parents and carers.
You can also contact them by ringing Freephone 0808 802 5544
Both organisations also have very informative leaflets available on all aspects of mental health issues.
You are probably aware but there are ways that you can help yourself feel better. Just like we are encouraged to look after our physical health by giving up smoking, taking regular exercise and cutting down the amount of fats in our diets, we can also take action to improve our emotional well-being.
There's:-
# Learning to relax - following book and tapes on relaxation techniques, taking up yoga or meditation, and perhaps indulging in a massage or aromatherapy session
# Taking exercise - can be something as simple as walking or swimming - any form of physical activity can help you to feel better about yourself. It's a way of releasing those happy hormones - endorphins
# Expressing feelings - getting angry, crying or shouting. Maybe punching a cushion or pillow, dancing around to loud, energetic music or letting out your emotions to sorrowful music.
# Talking - do you feel that you can open up to your psychologist and the people who are there for you at school or your parents who seem to be very supportive. Sometimes, if you are finding it difficult to talk or there is no-one available just when you feel like talking, have you thought about writing down your thoughts or even expressing them through drawing, painting or sculpture.
# Setting goals - thinking of something that you would like to achieve. Just something quite small and attainable - don't make it too difficult or demanding and the working towards it. Suggestions are perhaps reading a book that you enjoy, growing a few flowers or vegetables maybe just in a window box or managing to walk to a certain place or round a certain route. It is a great feeling when you have achieved something you set out to do
# Find out what you enjoy doing and then find ways of doing it as much as possible - usually means that because you enjoy doing it, you are probably very good at it - a great way to promote feeling good about yourself
# Just sing - maybe not your thing - but either singing on your own or joining a group or choir can be great for releasing feelings and giving yourself confidence and hope.
There are many other things that you can try and no doubt you have a few ideas of your own but one we have not yet mentioned or you may not think is relevant is the kind of food that you eat and it's relationship to your mood.
'Food can have an immediate and lasting effect upon your mental health and well-being. Certain foods have been found to help people manage their moods and feelings.'
is a quote from the Home page of
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/feedingminds/
If you want to find out more about the food we diet and our mental health you will find this website very helpful.
Another website that could be interesting for you to have a look at is
http://www.nhs.uk/change4life/
q2a hopes that you have found our response helpful and that arrangements can be made for you to benefit from an education process that is appropriate for your needs. If we can help you further or you would like to contact us with another enquiry please get in touch with us again, or
just let us know how you are getting on.
Best Wishes and Take Care
q2a
Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information on this page is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly. This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law. With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.
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