Q2A

Got a question ......

Hello i have emailed you before on loads of occasions about my depression and school
and every thing nothing seems to be going write for me .My sister boyfreind dad has
cancer and hes only got a few months to live and his mum has got a blood clot what can lead to a hart attack , My Depression seems to be getting worse as it goes on i talk to people at school and have my parents but when i spoke to school the other day and i
emailed them they called my dad up and said that they was really concerned because
what i wrote in my email so my dad had a go at me for it and he said to me the way i am going i will end up getting sectioned i dont no what to i feel so numb i am still going to camhs but my parents have got to go for another meeting on 5th october to see my
physcastric but im not aloud to go for some reason but i dont no why that is im so fed up with every thing nothing is getting done and im going around in visual ciracles school still cant cope with me and at camhs i have asked to see someone else because the person i am seeing does not help me at all i have seen three people so far and im going around around and its so overwhelimg but no one understand how i feel i was in school today and i was in such a mood with myself for some reason and i felt like throwing a chair out of the window because i have so many emotions inside i cant cope about 2 weeks ago i attempted sucide coz i had images of myself jumping of a brige and voices and ended up writting a suicde note but every time i feel this way i cant tell any one because i no that the school will contact my dad and i will end up been sectioned for every thing and i dont want that i just feel that numb i lay in my bed and have plans in my head i just want to dispear because i cant cope with this much longer im always thinking about negative thoughts i just want to give up i dont no who else to turn to i cant turn to school or my parents as they will get me sectioned :'( and i cant talk to any one else because i have been through so much talking and explaing and if i did talk to any one at school they just pass information on the ewo is involved with me as he wants to try and help but he cant do any thing i cant talk to no one so basically im coping alone with this on my own and bottleing it up . I dont no what to do any more its hurting me inside so much im really struggling.

Any Advice Would Be Very Greatful
Thank You
xxx

This is our reply.......

Hi, thanks for contacting us again.

This really is dreadful news about your sister's boyfriend and his family so we can
appreciate why you feel as though things are going from bad to worse. We hope they
both get the best possible care, and that your sister and her boyfriend are coping ok.

It sounds as though you're back in school which must provide some distraction and relief
for you, rather than being excluded and having lots of time on your hands. And you
managed not to throw the chair through the window in spite of how you felt. That probably
would have resulted in you being excluded!
From what you've told us previously, you seem to feel more comfortable with people at
school, no doubt because they're familiar to you. But unfortunately they will have to tell
other people such as your Dad if they get an email from you saying things that worry
them. It's how teachers have to work: they have to keep you safe, and they aren't trained
mental health workers. And equally your parents will struggle to know what to do for the
best. Threatening you with a 'section' might be evidence of their own desperation and
frustration. We're not sure why your psychiatrist wants to see your parents on their own -
we guess you mean it's on the 5th November rather than October. Perhaps they have
concerns of their own about how your treatment's progressing and don't want to worry you
with them. Although we guess it might make you feel a bit paranoid.

It's a shame that you seem unable to start opening up to the people who are able to listen
to what you say without immediately having to alert someone else because of what you've
told them. We recognise that you may find it hard work to get started with a person you
know nothing about, but not knowing them can be an advantage. They're not members of
your family with all the baggage that can come with family. They're not friends who you
might be worried about boring to death if you talk about yourself too much. They're not
teachers who have to tell someone else if you admit to thoughts of killing yourself. They
are there just for you and if you can persevere it can be a safe place where you can talk
freely about your thought and feelings and what might be behind them.

It's important to be realistic about what's achievable with a counsellor or therapist. It's
unlikely to be a quick fix. It will take time to make progress. You may feel as though it's
not the right time to talk. It might make you feel worse at first. How you feel and think
may never go away entirely but you may end up understanding yourself better, or feel
better able to cope with the really bad times when they come. You may feel as though
they don't understand you or that you can't work with them but, it might just be down to a
genuine misunderstanding about the way they are working with you and how quickly you'll
feel the benefits. If this is how you feel, tell them so that things can be put right quickly.

We hope you can develop a better relationship with the next therapist you get, perhaps
bearing in mind some of the things we've just said. And don't forget some of the other
things that may help to make your feelings easier to deal with:

# Fresh air and exercise, even if it's just a brisk walk
# Drawing, writing or painting to describe how you feel - perhaps you could write in
the Your Story part of our website. Its all anonymous, just like this part of the site.
# Watching your favourite TV programmes, DVDs, listening to your favourite music
# Start a 5,000 piece jigsaw
# Getting out with friends as often as you can
# Learn something new e.g. to play a musical instrument (e.g. the guitar, whistle,
pan pipes aren't too expensive)
# Learn a martial art e.g. Tai Chi. It can help you with self-control and self-
confidence
# Make a voodoo doll to represent your least favourite person and stick pins in it

We don't feel as though we've been able to give you much advice, except not to expect too
much too soon. If you think about how long you've been feeling like you do, it may take
the same amount of time or even longer to deal with it. But we hope you find some of
what we've said helpful. Please keep in touch and let us know how you're getting on, you
can write to us at any time.

Best wishes from q2a.

Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information in this answer is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly.  This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law.  With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

home  answer bank  answer file  privacy policy  confidentiality policy  contact  terms and conditions