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tatie hobnob asks...
i am being bullied at school what should i do
What we suggest...
Hi tatie hobnob, thanks for contacting q2a.
We're very glad you've been able to tell us about this: you've taken the first step towards getting it stopped. We hope you don't get to the stage where you're too frightened to go to school because these people are not worth risking your education for. Please don't let it go on until you've lost all your confidence and self-worth. We're guessing that you may be on half-term this week so at least you'll get some relief from it for a while.
The best thing to do is tell someone, an adult you trust. Telling someone isn't grassing, and being bullied is nothing to be ashamed of; the bullies are in the wrong and they've got the problem, not you. One thing you could do this week if you are off school is make notes or write a diary of what's been happening, where it's happening, when it's happening and who's doing it. This will help you to get all the information together in one place, and help you when you tell someone.
If you're not in school this next week the first people you could talk to are your parents or carers, or other family members. We hope that they will be a source of support for you, and if you don't feel able to tell anyone at school they can do it for you when you go back next week.
When you're back in school you or your family you can talk to:
- a teacher, perhaps one you get on particularly well with
- a Youth Worker, or Connexions Worker if they're in your school
- the school nurse
Doncaster encourages schools to have an agreed way of dealing with bullying so they may be able to sort out the problem without making things worse for you. Here are some tips to help you to cope when you do go back into school:
- don't be alone, try to be with other people. We hope you have other friends there who aren't nasty to you
- if your friends have seen you being bullied, ask if they'll support what you say
- if you do come across the bullies try not to show any reaction, or just walk away. It's your reaction that they get their kicks from so don't give them the satisfaction. If you'd
like some tips on being more assertive with them have a look at http://www.kidscape.org.uk/assets/downloads/assertivenessforchildren.pdf
- try not to get into an argument or a fight. It will only make things worse and you might end up being blamed
- don't hang on to possessions or money - they can be replaced but it's best not to take things like this into school or at least any more than you need to
If you'd like more information about bullying here's where to go:
Helplines:
- Childline, freephone, 0800 11 11, open 24 hours
- Youthline, freephone 0800 096 1425, open Monday-Thursday 4pm-10pm, Friday 4pm-7pm
If you have access to the Internet we found the following websites helpful for our reply:
- www.bullying.co.uk/
- http://www.kidscape.org.uk/childrenteens/whatdo.shtml
- www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/personal/index.shtml?bullying#topics
- www.bbc.co.uk/slink/sexlovelife/index.shtml?page=life&sub=bullying
Book:
- Gangs & Bullies by Rosemary Stones, pub. Life Files. Your local library should be able to get you a copy to borrow, or you can buy it from good bookshops or on-line.
We hope you find what we've said in our reply helpful. Do tell someone as soon as possible what's happening to you. Please email us again if you need to, about this or anything else. Take care. Let us know how you get on, we will try to help you some more.
Best wishes from q2a.
Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information on this page is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly. This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law. With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.
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