home links bulletin board about what now? make a comment
m r asks...
Just a few minutes ago I found out that my boyfriend was talking stuff behind my back. He wasn't man enough to say the stuff to my face so hre went and told our friend about me. This friend knew it was wrong so he told me about it, of course Iam hurt about it but I don't want anything to do with this big a## loser anymore. I want him out of my life for good and not to come back. As soon as I see him again I will go off like no tommarrow.
Please help me with this issue. I'm in need of help by someone who has good boy experience.
What we suggest...
Hi m r, thanks for contacting q2a.
It sounds as though you've already made your mind up about what to do! You may not have read our reply before you see him again, but just in case you do, here are some things to think about. If they're too late for this relationship they may come in useful in the future.
It's usual for people to talk to friends about their boyfriends and girlfriends and what's said doesn't generally go any further. It's a useful way to have a moan if things aren't going too well, or to check out their opinion on whether something about the relationship or their partner, is 'normal' or 'ok' etc.
We agree that it would have been better if your boyfriend had talked to you directly about whatever it was, but it can take time for a relationship to develop to the point where people feel comfortable bringing up awkward or personal issues with their partner. So maybe your relationship isn't (wasn't?!) at this stage yet and he felt easier talking to a friend.
Or maybe your boyfriend has an agenda of his own, for example he may be trying to provoke you into finishing with him because he hasn't the courage to do it himself. This is a bit cowardly but he might not be able to cope with a big emotional scene.
It would also have been better if your mutual friend hadn't told you what they'd talked about. Like we said before, when friends talk to each other about their girlfriends and boyfriends, it doesn't usually go any further. In a way he has broken a confidence and your boyfriend may be just as upset about it as you are when he finds out.
Your mutual friend may have done what he's done because he has an agenda of his own, for example trying to split you up. One reason may be that he's feeling jealous because he hasn't a girlfriend of his own. Or he could be feeling left out because he and your boyfriend don't spend as much time together as they used to. Or he may secretly want to go out with you himself and thinks he has a chance if he can get you to dump your boyfriend.
The only way to sort things out with your boyfriend is to talk to him and tell him how it's made you feel. Then depending on what he says, decide whether to carry on with the relationship, or not. We hope that there's an entirely innocent explanation for why he's talked to your friend and it's just down to inexperience, insecurity etc.
If you have access to the Internet and you'd like more information about how to cope with relationship problems have a look at the following websites:
-http://www.thesite.org
- http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/sex_relationships/
- http://www.teenissues.co.uk/RectifyingRelationshipProblems.html
We hope things work out as you want then to. Please email us again if you need to, about this or anything else.
Best wishes from q2a.
Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information on this page is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly. This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law. With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.
here's what i think about ...