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isthisme.comcanuhelpmejbabii asks...
there is this boy i dont get on with at school he allways gets me into trouble e.g he makes jokes about his own work (making me laugh) and he says that im making fun of his worki dont like him and im not aloud to say what i think about him what can i do?
What we suggest...
Hi isthisme.comcanuhelpmejbabii
Thanks for your email.
You’ve told us that a boy at school is getting you into trouble and you don’t like it.
We think you might be surprised if we tell you that this boy probably likes you! A lot! It’s very likely that he doesn’t know how to let you know that he likes you so he’s hit on a strategy of making you laugh (by making jokes about his own work). So far so good, but when you respond by laughing he’s saying that you are making fun of his work. There are two explanations for this. Either your laughter genuinely hurts him (even though he started it) or he’s carrying on with the joke by saying you are making fun of him. In each of these cases, they are probably signs that he likes you.
What do you think? Are there ever any other signs that he might like you? Does he smile when your eyes meet? Do you ever look round and catch him watching you? If you do then the odds are he does like you, why else would he bother? Maybe you could ask your friends to watch him to see if he’s watching you. And, talking about your friends, is he friendly towards them? If he is, it could be he’s trying to pluck up courage to ask them if you like him.
There’s a good site about this at
http://dating.lovetoknow.com/How_do_You_Know_if_a_Boy_Likes_You and another at
http://www.bbc.co.uk/switch/slink/lads/boys_view/mean.shtml
It is possible that he doesn't like you but then why would he make the effort to joke with you about his work and get you to laugh? That is not the sort of behaviour from someone who doesn’t like you, they are more likely to ignore you or make jokes about you, possibly hurtful ones.
Now, let’s look at how you feel. You’ve said that you don’t like him. Is that all the time or is it only when he’s getting you in trouble or saying you’re making fun of his work? He does make you laugh which, unless it’s a nervous laugh, is usually a sign of liking someone. Are there other clues? Do you ever start a conversation with him? Do you look for him in school or watch him when he doesn’t know you’re there?
Maybe you could write a list of what you like and what you don’t like about him and make a decision from that. If you do like him, then you need to make some sort of move to get out of this loop that the two of you have got yourself into.
How’s about:
#Getting one of your friends to ask him if he likes you/tell him that you like him
#Asking one of his friends if he likes you/to tell him that you like him
#If you’re feeling particularly brave, ask him why he makes these jokes to you when he doesn’t like you laughing at them
#Offer to help him with his studies if he genuinely has problems
#Arrange for a group of his friends and your friends to go somewhere on a Saturday afternoon, such as to MacDonald’s, swimming or bowling so you can get to know each other better without the pressure of it being anything like a date. If you'd like some ideas about where to go out in Doncaster then please give us a ring or send us another email or have a look on www.doncasterfusion.co.uk
#If you learn that he’s doing something special over the weekend, ask him about it on Monday morning so you can have a normal conversation
If you don’t like him, then that’s a more difficult situation. Here’s some ideas:
#Refuse to laugh at his jokes about his work. Keep your face straight and say something like, “It looks alright to me”.
#Avoid getting into the situations where he gets an opportunity to make the jokes. Leave the classroom straight after the lesson or start a conversation with someone else if it looks like he’s going to start joking.
#If you’re feeling brave, ask him why he’s always putting his work down like that then suggest that he asks someone for help with his work. That should stop him making these jokes about his work
So, to sum it up:
If you like him, try to get the two of you together properly or at least find out how he truly feels about you.
If you don’t like him, find some way to stop going through this ritual between the two of you.
If you want to ask anything else, or want to let us know how you get on, please feel free to email us again.
Best wishes
q2a
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