Q2A

Got an enquiry ........


my friend is not talking to me anymore and does not want to be my firend i feel sad and want her as a friend how can i get her to be my friend?


This is our reply.......

 

Hi gil, thanks for contacting q2a

We understand you are feeling sad because you want to be friends with someone who seems to not want to be friends with you. All through our lives from time to time we make friends with some people and lose touch with others. Often this is ok and just happens without us really planning or thinking about it too much. However, when someone stops speaking to you it can be a very upsetting experience. It's hard to give very detailed advice about this as we don't know exactly what happened between you and your friend to make them not want to be friends anymore. Even so we will try and come up with some ideas and suggestions that might make this situation easier to deal with.

In some ways the way you handle this would depend on why you think your friend has stopped talking to you. It might be worth having a good think about whether you could have done something to upset or offend them. If you have somehow hurt their feelings or done something wrong and you believe that it is your fault you might want to apologise, but of course if your friend is ignoring you this could be difficult. One suggestion might be to send a letter, text or email to your friend, or maybe ask a friend who knows this person if they could ask for you why they are being this way.

The above approach could still be helpful if you haven't done anything wrong, for example if your friend has misunderstood something or has been told something untrue. However, sometimes people might ignore people for other reasons too. For example, this person may just have decided they no longer want to be your friend, or they might be ignoring you because they just aren't being very nice. If this is the case there isn't really much you can do to make them be your friend or talk to you - but it might be worth thinking that if they are going to treat you like that, and not talk to you or explain things then maybe they are not worth being friends with anyway?

Sometimes, even though it's hard we have to move on from friendships when someone just doesn't want to be our friend any more. This is because two people have to want to be part of a friendship for it to work. Whatever you do, whether you try to persuade your friend, or apologise, or try to convince them, at the end of the day it is their choice and if they choose not to then there is nothing more you can do. We would suggest if this happens it might be best to just look forward and think positive and spend your time with people who do want to be friends with you.

You may find this article helpful:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/falling_out

We hope this is helpful to you, feel free to contact us again if you'd like to talk more about this.

All the best

q2a

home  answer bank  answer file story board privacy policy  confidentiality policy  contact  terms and conditions