Q2A
Got an enquiry ........
my friend is not talking to me anymore and does not want to be my firend i feel sad and
want her as a friend how can i get her to be my friend?
This is our reply.......
Hi gil, thanks for contacting q2a
We understand you are feeling sad because you want to be friends with someone who
seems to not want to be friends with you. All through our lives from time to time we make
friends with some people and lose touch with others. Often this is ok and just happens
without us really planning or thinking about it too much. However, when someone stops
speaking to you it can be a very upsetting experience. It's hard to give very detailed advice
about this as we don't know exactly what happened between you and your friend to make
them not want to be friends anymore. Even so we will try and come up with some ideas
and suggestions that might make this situation easier to deal with.
In some ways the way you handle this would depend on why you think your friend has
stopped talking to you. It might be worth having a good think about whether you could
have done something to upset or offend them. If you have somehow hurt their feelings or
done something wrong and you believe that it is your fault you might want to apologise,
but of course if your friend is ignoring you this could be difficult. One suggestion might be
to send a letter, text or email to your friend, or maybe ask a friend who knows this person
if they could ask for you why they are being this way.
The above approach could still be helpful if you haven't done anything wrong, for example if
your friend has misunderstood something or has been told something untrue. However, sometimes people might ignore people for other reasons too. For example, this person
may just have decided they no longer want to be your friend, or they might be ignoring you
because they just aren't being very nice. If this is the case there isn't really much you can
do to make them be your friend or talk to you - but it might be worth thinking that if they
are going to treat you like that, and not talk to you or explain things then maybe they are
not worth being friends with anyway?
Sometimes, even though it's hard we have to move on from friendships when someone just
doesn't want to be our friend any more. This is because two people have to want to be part
of a friendship for it to work. Whatever you do, whether you try to persuade your friend, or
apologise, or try to convince them, at the end of the day it is their choice and if they
choose not to then there is nothing more you can do. We would suggest if this happens it
might be best to just look forward and think positive and spend your time with people who
do want to be friends with you.
You may find this article helpful:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/advice/factfile_az/falling_out
We hope this is helpful to you, feel free to contact us again if you'd like to talk more about
this.
All the best
q2a
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