finding dad

Q2A

Got a quick question ......

hi i am just wondering how i would find my dad because he left 9 years and hasn't got in touch since i have look on facebook and find people websites and because i am going to be 16 soon i would really like to find him now

This is our reply.......

Hi, thanks for your email.

We're sorry for the delay in replying, and for posting the reply on our Bulletin Board, but it's because your email didn't come to us through the Q2A website. In future please send your enquiry to Q2A's website, the address is http://www.q2a.co.uk, or you can find us on the Young People's Service website at http://yps.lancashire.gov.uk, click on 'Need to talk?'

It's natural to be curious about someone who's not around, and who there may be something of a mystery about. But before you start to look for your Dad it would be best to think about a few things first so that you're prepared for whatever may happen, or not happen. For example:

# has something happened that's made you want to find him now, is it an emotional reaction that may pass in time?

# if people say that he did bad things, will you be able to deal with it?

# if you do find him, think about what you expect, or want to happen

# how will you feel if you find him but he doesn't want any contact with you?

# how will you feel if you can't find him?

# how will you cope if it turns out that he's gone abroad, or worst of all, that he's no longer alive?

To give yourself the best chance of finding him you'll need to start gathering information. You could start by talking to Mum, if this is who you live with now, or if not, the people you do live with. Ask them if they'll tell you about the reason(s) why he left. If you're still in contact with any relatives on your Dad's side of the family (aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents) ask them if they'll tell you about why he left. As we said above, be prepared for the kind of information they may give you, or for if they won't tell you anything.

If they do give you the information you'll then be able to work how easy or difficult it might be to find him, and the best way to go about it. For example someone may have a current address or phone number for him. They may know where he works. They may know where he socialises, or for example which football team he supports. This would make your search easier.

If you don't get enough information for him here are some other suggestions:

# ask Mum/carers and other family if they have birth, marriage or death certificates

# do a Google search on his full name rather than looking on specific websites

# search telephone directories such as http://www.192.com or http://www.thephonebook.bt.com/publisha.content/en/search/residential/search.publisha

There's a free and instant on-line messaging service at:

# http://www.missing-you.net

We hope you find the information in this reply helpful in beginning to search for your Dad. Please email us again if you think we can help, with this or anything else.

Best wishes from q2a.

Q2A does our best to ensure that all answers are correct when they are posted. If this answer is more than 2 months old please ask us it again so we can check it. Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information

in this answer is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly. This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law. With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

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