Q2A
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Thank you for sending your poem. It makes painful reading for us and is clearly much worse for you. We know you contact us and just want to say please do make use of all our services that you find help you. Take care. (We have left a little part out, sorry, but we believe you understand why).
Aching Heart
Laying here thinking what a useless failure i really am,
Hoping that as soon as i shut my eyes,
You'll never see them open again,
Tears quickly roll down my cheeks
I then cry myself to sleep,
Really hating this eating disorder,
Size 14 i was happy now i hate myself so much,
Cant bare to look at myself,
How did it get this way
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Im terrified of living this life,
Theres so many secrets behind my smile you'll never know,
coping the best i can by starving the pain away,
Extremely good at hiding the pain, the guilt and hurt,
I think im becoming a pro
because people dont know ive hit an all time low,
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Hurts so much to sit here and lie,
Saying that im fine when all i wanna do is cry,
I hate this disgusting vile body,
Everyday i punish myself wishing to die,
Anorexia creeps into my mind,
Telling me to starve away,
I'll never be good enough,
Loosing the will to live,
I have nothing else to give,
Anorexias gripped me so tight,
so tight the pain's too much to bare
I just dont care
Behind my smile is me falling apart,
My heart is aching and im so sick of faking,
Pretending im okay when its nothing but a lie,
Because deep down all i wanna do is die,
Dreading the days ahead,
Cant stop the voices that are in my head,
Cutting arms just so i can get through the day,
Screaming with pain but no-ones listening
People think im okay because im smiling but they dont know whats behind closed doors,
I sit here crying on the floor holding my blade
and staring at my cuts on my arms hoping they'll soon fade
Really wishing you will just kill me as gave up hope,
as i can no longer cope.
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