Q2A

Got another message from Sakura......

Hi
Thank you very much for your help.
I hope you're right.
I must find someone of my age shouldn't I?
Well whatever about the break up I recently had.
I'm unable to forget about that guy. Moreover he is my friend on a social networking site
and he sits near me at school. We share a lot of things and he is going under many
problems nowadays. My seat partner likes him (thats what everyone says) but he doesn't
like her. He is just her friend like he is mine now.
Everyone in the class says that they both like each other just because they talk with each
other.
He doesn't like her anyway. I think I still like him but now I just wanna forget about boys
and concentrate on my studies. But as I said we sit between boys and I just dunno know
why I just have a feeling of appreciation towards guys and I feel attracted toward them. I
just hate it. Whenever I have a break up a new boy enters my life and then I..........
Help me out please.
Bye
Sakura

This is our reply.......

Hi Sakura, thanks for contacting q2a again.

Your question has come in on Quick Q2A again but you asked us a long question so we
have put a Q2A Max answer in the Answer File. You'll find it under Sakura.

With regards to finding someone your own age then really it's personal choice. With you
being 13 or 14 now might be better going out with someone who is around your own age
rather than over 16 for legal reasons. It could also help as you both may have more in
common with one another and being able to talk to each other about things that interest
you is pretty important if you want to get on well together.

In terms of the guy you think you still like, you do mention that he is having many
problems nowadays. Perhaps this is a reason why the relationship ended? Maybe he is
too preoccupied with other things at the moment and they need to take priority? Have you
talked to him about the problems he is experiencing? Do you think you can help him feel
better and overcome these problems with him? Does he want to talk to you about his
problems and want you to help as either a friend or more? Maybe it is worth asking him
and seeing what he says?

With regards to whether he likes the person sitting next to you and vice versa really only
the two of them know. You could perhaps ask either of them if they do or maybe ask them
if they fancy anyone but it is up to them whether they want to tell you or not.

Perhaps you need to think about whether you want to go out with this boy again or just
remain friends and go from there. As you go through puberty you will experience a lot of
different emotions for a variety of boys. Try and not worry, this is normal! Often people
have crushes on other people whatever age they are.

You can distract yourself from thinking about boys by doing other things such as:

# concentrating on your studies
# spending time with your friends
# reading
# watching television
# listening to music

- Basically anything that interests you really. It is healthy to think about boys especially at
your age but if it does get to the stage that it is interfering with your school work, eating
and sleeping patterns and so on then perhaps it is better to focus some of your thoughts
on something else. We are not saying it's easy but it is worth a try.

Remember your friends will be having these emotions as well. It might be good to talk to
your friends about how you are feeling and share your experiences together so you don't
feel like your on your own either.

Did you have a look at the various websites we gave you last time regarding relationships
and friendships? We will just list them again for you now:

www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/sex_relationships/relationships_all/fancy_does_he_
she_fancy_you_back/>

www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/sex_relationships/relationships_all/crushes_unrequit
ed_love/>

www.teenissues.co.uk/CopingWithACrush.html

www.bbc.co.uk/switch/surgery/advice/sex_relationships/relationships_all/finding_a_girlfrien
d_boyfriend/>

www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/teenlife/rel_chatting.html

We hope you find what we've said in our reply helpful. Please email us again if you think
we can help, about this or anything else.

Best wishes from q2a.

Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information

in this answer is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly.  This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law.  With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.

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