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Danielle Asks...
hiya my names danielle from belfast but i live in scotland iv been self harming from i was young cuz i had a hard life i stoped there and started on friday again bcuz iv been hearin voices in my head it all started a few months ago but i didnt think anything of it but it got worse and louder i went to my doctors today and all he dun was sent me to get my cuts cleand up i cant eat or sleep all i want to do is die iv tryed overdoses hanging myself b4 but didnt work and now im thinkin i shud take this thing more higher i just cant stand it anymore i dont want to live but i have to for my mums sake please help xx
What we
suggest...
Hi Danielle,
Thanks for finding us and sending in your enquiry. We think you may have possibly done a Google search on 'self harm and hearing voices' or something like that and then put your message on the Here's what I think comment section of another bulletin board. We hope you find our reply on the bulletin board here at www.q2a.co.uk. If you wish to contact us again then please fill in the enquiry form on the website then your message comes through to us straightaway.
We think you've done really well to look to for help for yourself and we hope we will be able to help you a bit. It must have taken a lot of courage to talk openly about these difficult feelings, thoughts and emotions. You have made a very important first step on the road to resolving these problems and we would like to do everything we can to help and support you.
When you went to see your doctor was they aware of your history of self - harming? Did they ask why the cuts had appeared? We appreciate it may be very difficult In talking about these feelings with someone but we would encourage you to be open with your doctor, even though you may feel awkward and embarrassed about the thoughts and feelings you are experiencing. Remember doctors deal with these types of issues every day of the week, they won't be shocked!
We guess it is hard for you to talk about the reasons for your harming, but facing what it is that makes you need to take control like this is going to be the way to deal with it. This is hard, and it is very hard to do on your own. But talking about it all is the best way of dealing with the feelings.
You appear to be encountering overwhelming feelings of pain which are leading to your severe attempts of self - harm / suicide attempts. You say you have recently started self - harming again, however you don't mention whether you have been receiving any treatment or medication. You tell us that you have been to your doctor; however they only took care of the practical side, i.e. your cuts. Does this suggest you have been attempting to cope alone with these increasing painful thoughts and feelings?
One support option your doctor might suggest to you is to have some counselling. Counselling is confidential, completely your choice and gives you the time and space to talk through and work on unhelpful thoughts and feelings you might have and situations in your life that are causing you the emotional distress and your health. A counsellor will not judge you, will help you to explore your feelings and the reasons why you self -harm.
If you don't feel comfortable talking to your doctor about how you are feeling perhaps you could confide in a teacher at school. They could also refer you to a counselling service. Also there are on line counselling services for young people.We mention some of them later on, but www.chance2talk.com is one to try perhaps.
You mention your mum in your enquiry - is your mum aware of the thoughts and feelings you're experiencing? Does she know about your self - harming and suicide attempts? Have you tried talking to her about it or any other family member of friend perhaps? If you think you can't talk about these feelings straight away, don't worry, this is understandable. You may alternatively find it useful to write down some of what you are feeling inside, i.e. keep a personal diary. This can often be a good way to express your feelings safely in private before you are ready to confide in those close.
You don't mention in your enquiry any potential reasons for why you are currently feeling this way. There are many feelings that drive people to self - harm. These can include emotional pain, anger, self - hatred, fear and anxiety, guilt and shame, powerlessness, emptiness, feeling unwell and depression.
People who have self - harmed have usually experienced some very difficult and painful events in their life. These can include being abused or ill - treated, neglected, losing someone through death or separation, bullying and harassment, physical illness, loss of freedom or general stresses and strains in their life.
Self - harm helps people express their feelings, distracts them from other feelings, can be a form of self - punishment, of taking some control or trying to communicate, a chance for comfort or feeling 'real'.
Can you relate to anything in the past few paragraphs? Have you experienced something painful or traumatic which you have difficulty in coping with? In a nutshell talking about what has happened to you in an open and honest way should help you on the road to getting better!
You could in the mean time also try some substitute activities when you feel like hurting yourself, for example:
-If cutting is a way to deal with anger that they cannot express openly, they could try and take their feelings out on something else - running, dancing fast, screaming, punching a pillow etc
-If cutting is a way to feel something when they feel numb inside, they could try holding ice or a package of frozen food, taking a very hot or cold shower, chewing something which has a very strong taste - chilli peppers, raw ginger root or grapefruit peel.
-If cutting is a way to calm yourself down then you could try taking a bubble bath, doing deep breathing exercises activities, writing in a journal, yoga, drawing
-If cutting involves you having to see blood you could make some ice cubes with red food colouring in then hold a couple tight in the palm of your hand when you need to cut. It hurts, but more, the ice melts and red trickles through, this can help.
There are now many sources of help available to self - harmers and their family and friends. As mentioned doctors, counsellors and psychiatrists can help. Other sources are:
www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk - This is a free, confidential phone line that anyone in Scotland can call when they are feeling low or depressed. The phone line is free from landlines and some mobiles, and is available to the public every day. Call 0800 83 85 87 daily 6pm - 2am
www.harmless.org.uk - Harmless provide support and information to people who self-harm and their families and friends. There's lots of information on their website
www.nshn.co.uk
www.selfharm.net
Also here are some useful helplines and websites about mental health / suicidal feelings:
www.childline.co.uk - 0800 1111 (24hrs).
www.mind.org.uk - Offers information on mental distress, treatments and rights. Telephone 0845 7660 163
www.youngminds.org.uk
www.careline.org
You also told us that you hear voices. There is a fact sheet that you can download for free from this link, which might reassure you about this:
http://www.mentalhealthshop.org/products/rethink_publications/coping_with_hearing.html.
If you don't feel you can get the help you need from the suggestions we have made here please email us again and tell us a bit more about yourself and we will do our best to find more help for you.
We hope that our reply is helpful to you Danielle, please do email us again and let us know how you are. We would be pleased to talk to you some more.
Take care
Best Wishes
q2a
Expert advice and every precaution has been taken to ensure that the information on this page is trustworthy and reliable, but the publishers do not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracy as information can go out of date very quickly. This page gives general guidance only and should not be treated as a complete and authoritative statement of the law. With regard to suggested weblinks given in this reply please note that Lancashire County Council is not responsible for the content of external internet sites.
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