Q2A
Got an enquiry ........
ive been sleeping with this guy on and off for a few years and inbetween he has slept with
a lot of women and had normal long lasting sex but everytime we sleep together he
ejaculates within 30 seconds everytime, we lost our virginity to each other, he says that
this doesnt happen with anyone else just me, i want to know if u can tell me if im doing
something wrong or is is because he cant control himself?? i know its premature
ejaculation but it only happens with me...please help me understand...
This is our reply.......
Hello
Thanks for your email.
We think that you could both view this as a demonstration that there is something
significant and special in your sexual relationship with each other. OK, it may not be
quite what you both want, but nevertheless it is definitely saying something about
your relationship. We guess it goes back to you losing your virginity with each other.
And we would surmise that your friend's response to you is acknowledging that that
was special for him.
We very much doubt that you are doing anything wrong. Perhaps you can accept this as
an indicator of your special relationship with each other. To make a big issue of it would
probably make it more pronounced, or cause other problems as well, or instead.
If your friend does want to try to prolong his performance with you there are techniques
that can work. They are based on distraction, so it's about thinking of something else at
the same time, like reciting the alphabet backwards, the order of the football teams in all
the leagues - stuff like that.
There clearly isn't any need for potions and pills - they don't work anyway, but there is a
physical thing you can try where you grasp the penis firmly at the base - if you can reach!
- just before orgasm - apparently this can act to delay ejaculation.
Here are a few more techniques which we have lifted from the BBC health website,
including the one above, which may be helpful:
'Sex therapists recommend a few straightforward techniques to prevent or delay
ejaculation. You can practice these on your own or with your partner:
Take a deep breath as you feel your climax approaching. This will briefly switch off the
ejaculation reflex.
The squeeze technique involves squeezing below the tip of your penis when the climax is
imminent for 10 to 20 seconds.
It helps to think about something boring at the same time to take your mind off more
exciting things.
During foreplay or intercourse, stopping and starting sexual stimulation helps to lengthen
the time taken to reach climax, and can be combined with the squeeze technique.
If you keep practising and stay relaxed, you should find that the problem disappears.'
We hope this helps to explain to you why this might be happening, and to both of you that
it is nothing really to worry about, and maybe these suggestions at the end will help.
Please do email us again, about this or anything else.
Best wishes
Q2A
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