Q2A

Got an enquiry ........

which told us a lot about what has been going on and summarised by asking

'whats the difference between a bully and just being told off?

i cant work out if work is bullying me or they just have a big issue with everything i do

im only 17 :| and i love learning but hate work!!

am i being soft/stupid or is this bullying?'

This is our reply.......

Hi WorkBully? thanks for contacting q2a with your enquiry, we are really sorry to hear what a horrid time you have been having, and we hope our answer will help you.

You ask us at the outset of your email, what is the difference between being bullied and just being told off? Hopefully our reply will help you come to some conclusions about your experiences at your work placement. However we would say that if you feel so upset by what happens to you due to the behaviour of your work colleagues leaves you in tears and needing to contact Q2A for support there is definitely something wrong.

You tell us that you really enjoy your work with children, and committed to this field of work as you are undertaking a voluntary apprenticeship. We are really pleased that you have found an area of work that you enjoy. However the experiences you have described in your email suggest you have been treated differently than your paid colleagues. You list a number of incidents that appear to have been handled by the staff in a negative and insensitive manner.

The person who said you should record all the incidents as soon as you can after they have happened was quite right. Try to list the date and the time, who was present, what was said, how you felt. You need to bring up all these issues with your college tutor / training provider - who need to visit or have a conversation with your employer about your concerns. You clearly feel like you are being picked on by the employer and this needs to be addressed and resolved by the college. The college or training provider has a responsibility to ensure that students are being supported in their work apprenticeship placements. We suggest you arrange a meeting with your tutor as soon as you can.

We can understand your concerns in approaching the manager, even though they have said they have an open door policy. Maybe you and your college tutor could arrange a meeting with your manager to discuss these issues. For example is the manager aware they are upsetting you and making you cry?

At this point we cannot say for sure whether you are experiencing bullying or rather just insensitive and unsubtle management, but we accept your experience is unpleasant and you should not be made to feel like this.You may find some of the following websites helpful in establishing whether what you have been experiencing can be termed as bullying;

· www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/ResolvingWorkplaceDisputes/DiscriminationAtWork/DG_10026670
· www.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=797
· www.workplacebullying.co.uk/

If you are convinced that your experiences are bullying, then here are some ways you can tackle the problem.

Confuse the bully by behaving in an assertive, strong manner even if you don’t feel that way inside. And no matter how hard they push, don’t show them you’re upset. It’s no fun bullying someone who doesn’t react, and so the bad behaviour often stops or is redirected elsewhere. For example you could say to your manager 'Please can we go somewhere private to talk about this?'.

Not all bullies mean to be mean. Some styles of management are closer to bullying than the person may be aware or comfortable with, so it’s often worth talking to the person and giving them feedback on how their behaviour is affecting you and how you would prefer them to behave. If this scares you, then practice your lines to a trusted friend before the conversation, or try to use them in the three way meeting we suggested you request between college, the workplace and yourself.

If our first suggestions aren’t working, as we said earlier talk to a person in authority such as your college tutor or training provider and let them take responsibility for resolving the matter. Also the suggestion of writing down all the incidents, giving the date and time, is an excellent idea as it provides you with some evidence to back up your arguments.

We hope this reply is helpful and informative and you can get this problem sorted out soon. Please let us know how you get on, we will try to help further if this would be helpful.

Best wishes q2a.

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